Sorry for the delay, I was busy with a move (literal, not computer lingo for changing some website server or something, I'm really hauling my $#!+ across the country to *DUH DUH DUUUUH!* New Jersey, home of the shark attack.
Texas to Jersey is a bit of a press on the nerves, so please excuse my absence. Finally, it is time to write up part two.
Chemistry does not work that way. Physics does not work that way, and all of SCIENCE does not work that way! E(=mc^2 all times gamma and friends) gads! ... give it a minute, you'll get it, and think I'm really dumb for making that joke... This is like hearing about how a subatomic particle could make a black hole (see below), it is the worst kind of bad science.
*sigh* okay. So I'm going overboard maybe? maybe not.
My copy of the book is still in shipping to my new home, so bear with me. As I recall, after doing as much tampering as possible with crime scenes (no wonders Interpol is happy to go after the man in Davinci Code! He's already been an international criminal!), the wheel chair guy, who is done up like a super villain by the author in a manner so obvious that you know right from the start that it would be too cliche for him to be a villain, brings Langdon down to the underground lab of a scientist-cum-priest. The stiff they met in the Eureka-esque place in part one of this review.
Oh, and on the way (or was it afterwards? I forget, and don't have my copy in front of me... [yes, I did buy it. I don't think it is fair to judge a book I didn't buy. The author deserves the money for getting published, I will still grant that that is a major feat {and yes, I stack brackets.}]) the dead guy's daughter, another scientist, is shown. She has all the hallmarks of the token hottie.
So they get to the basement-cum-accelerator, there is a short bit of dialogue that shows that somehow, Langdon is a genius in like 20 fields of literature, history and culture, and yet never learned the first thing about science. Apparently he didn't take his required science classes in High School of Undergrad. Then comes the worst part:
SPOILER ALERT! IF YOU HAVEN'T FIGURED THAT OUT ALREADY.
Antimatter.
Really? The big breakthrough is antimatter?
I mean, sure, there is a hell of a lot in the containers (which have an amazing power system that allows their batteries to last EXACTLY 24 hours), for subatomic matter, but still. It seems rather scifi-inspired. Then again, Star Trek used "red matter" so I will support the book first and scifi second for now.
...More to come...
....Black holes used to be called black stars. If you watch the original Star Trek, they actually call them that. this is because that is exactly what they are, stars. They just happen to be giant balls of fire heavy enough to suck in photon emissions. They are not the kind of quantum singularity thought up for media hype in loosely circular equations every time they turn a supercollider on. That is all media bull. No legitimate physicist gives such things credence. The equations don't go to infinity and zero for a quantum singularity, they do that because they are ignoring one or more rules of physics needed to keep our equations on the right track.
"...in a quantum finish" - race results announcement
"No Fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it!" - Proffessor H. J. Farnsworth
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. PART 1
Alright, the guy is a good writer, I admit that. In fact, for the most part, I loved this book's action, and am also a fan of a few of his other books.
However, and this is a big however, there is a lot wrong with this book.
It starts out with Robert Langdon, our would-be hero who spends most of this book... um... sort of following people around and learning things, who is dreaming. In his dream, he is in Giza, the place with the pyramids, and is actually trying to climb one! At the top is a beautiful woman, who turns into a cadaver or something, screams at him and cue the cliche wake-up-in-a-cold-sweat scene. Foreshadowing!? ...well, no. This is never brought up again, and has very little, if anything, to do with the plot.
So he gets a call from an amazing science institute that, although I, as an astrophysics degree-holder, have never heard of it, apparently holds like 90% of the world's scientists. This place may exist, since there are supercollider facilities all over europe, but somehow I doubt they are secretly creating ever invention on earth other than the Honda robot.
I digress. They send out a plane to get him, because he has to see something (anyone want to bet it's the body of guy with something cryptic written on or around him in blood? I'll bet $100 it is, since that seems to be the Langdon special.)
Naturally, it is. But before we get to that, let me just point out that there is absolutely no organization, private or government, that can afford to use a sub-orbital shuttle to transport people. I'm sorry, nothing short of nuclear holocaust would inspire anyone to fly a single person halfway around the planet in a spacecraft without any profit.
So, the guy who meets our skill-less hero is basically Cheney-In-His-Wheelchair. He shows Langdon the requisite cryptic corpse, and does what any good novel character does: EVERYTHING WRONG!
He froze the location with science, which I'll accept given the setting, but certainly a scientist knows that freezing a corpse causes it and all the organic material around it to rupture at a cellular level. In other words, he destroyed evidence such as hair and skin. Then, although the freeze might have destroyed skin oil marks anyways, he and Langdon take some time to touch everything and disturb as much of the scene as possible, including the victim.
Now, through all of this, remember that the point of freezing the chamber is to preserve the scene. (To this end, I'll accept that he may have kept the room just above the rupture point, but I won't accept that either man would not realize that fiddling with all sorts of things with their bare hands and even moving and adjusting things is NOT good preservation procedure.)
Corpse disturbing done with, they go to the man's lab. You see, this corpse, of course, is a religious figure, but is also a quantum physicist.
Here is where I nearly screamed...
However, and this is a big however, there is a lot wrong with this book.
It starts out with Robert Langdon, our would-be hero who spends most of this book... um... sort of following people around and learning things, who is dreaming. In his dream, he is in Giza, the place with the pyramids, and is actually trying to climb one! At the top is a beautiful woman, who turns into a cadaver or something, screams at him and cue the cliche wake-up-in-a-cold-sweat scene. Foreshadowing!? ...well, no. This is never brought up again, and has very little, if anything, to do with the plot.
So he gets a call from an amazing science institute that, although I, as an astrophysics degree-holder, have never heard of it, apparently holds like 90% of the world's scientists. This place may exist, since there are supercollider facilities all over europe, but somehow I doubt they are secretly creating ever invention on earth other than the Honda robot.
I digress. They send out a plane to get him, because he has to see something (anyone want to bet it's the body of guy with something cryptic written on or around him in blood? I'll bet $100 it is, since that seems to be the Langdon special.)
Naturally, it is. But before we get to that, let me just point out that there is absolutely no organization, private or government, that can afford to use a sub-orbital shuttle to transport people. I'm sorry, nothing short of nuclear holocaust would inspire anyone to fly a single person halfway around the planet in a spacecraft without any profit.
So, the guy who meets our skill-less hero is basically Cheney-In-His-Wheelchair. He shows Langdon the requisite cryptic corpse, and does what any good novel character does: EVERYTHING WRONG!
He froze the location with science, which I'll accept given the setting, but certainly a scientist knows that freezing a corpse causes it and all the organic material around it to rupture at a cellular level. In other words, he destroyed evidence such as hair and skin. Then, although the freeze might have destroyed skin oil marks anyways, he and Langdon take some time to touch everything and disturb as much of the scene as possible, including the victim.
Now, through all of this, remember that the point of freezing the chamber is to preserve the scene. (To this end, I'll accept that he may have kept the room just above the rupture point, but I won't accept that either man would not realize that fiddling with all sorts of things with their bare hands and even moving and adjusting things is NOT good preservation procedure.)
Corpse disturbing done with, they go to the man's lab. You see, this corpse, of course, is a religious figure, but is also a quantum physicist.
Here is where I nearly screamed...
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Angels and Demons
I will be adding a full review to this post when I get up in the morning for my glorious day off, but as I am in a mood to point out the flaws of this book right now, let me say this, for now: PHYSICS DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY! SCIENCE DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY! AND DESTROYING UNIQUE. ANCIENT, AND UTTERLY PRICELESS WORKS BY GREAT PHYSICISTS IS NOT SOMETHING A HISTORY PROFESSOR WOULD EVER DO!
Curious? well, stay tuned. I'll explain all in a few hours.
Curious? well, stay tuned. I'll explain all in a few hours.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Rogue Warrior: Designation Gold by R. Macinko and J. Weisman. PART 2
Holy Crap! Part 1 just got deleted!? wtf?
okay, lets sumarize: the cover is wierd, with an odd choice of imagery involving a pair of grainy photos photo-shopped together.
The author reads his book like a robot until he starts getting into it, but most of what he says is just daydreaming about the glory days or preening with phrases like "...pipe almost as thick... and long... as my dick."
Since part one of this review didn't publish because of an internet flicker, I'm mad and am not going to finish reviewing this extremely dull audio tape right now. I'll try to come back to it later.
Instead, just keep an eye out for my Angels and Demons (the book) review.
--Ro'Tor
Rogue Warrior: Designation Gold was written by Richard Marcinko and John Weisman, and was read on Simon Schuster Audioworks tapes by Richard Marcinko.
okay, lets sumarize: the cover is wierd, with an odd choice of imagery involving a pair of grainy photos photo-shopped together.
The author reads his book like a robot until he starts getting into it, but most of what he says is just daydreaming about the glory days or preening with phrases like "...pipe almost as thick... and long... as my dick."
Since part one of this review didn't publish because of an internet flicker, I'm mad and am not going to finish reviewing this extremely dull audio tape right now. I'll try to come back to it later.
Instead, just keep an eye out for my Angels and Demons (the book) review.
--Ro'Tor
Rogue Warrior: Designation Gold was written by Richard Marcinko and John Weisman, and was read on Simon Schuster Audioworks tapes by Richard Marcinko.
Ever Heard of Rogue Warrior?
Rogue Warrior is a series by (at least) author Richard Marcinko.
I've actually heard a lot of good things about this author, but I also have heard a lot of bad. basically, I hear that it's the army-theme equivalent of a Clive Cussler book series. And I like a lot about Clive Cussler. But, for the hell of it, I dug up an old audio book of Rogue Warrior to listen to, it's even read by one of the authors (this one having two, so it should be doubly-good, right?).
Well, I won't find out tonight, but tomorrow evening, after a hard day's work, I intend to pop it into my long-neglected tape player and comment as it goes. It may be worthless drivel I write, or (and I doubt this...) comic gold, or (most likely) just a series of plot points utterly spoiling the book for readers.
Well, keep an eye out tomorrow for Richard Marcinko and John Weisman's Rogue Warrior: Designation Gold.
I've actually heard a lot of good things about this author, but I also have heard a lot of bad. basically, I hear that it's the army-theme equivalent of a Clive Cussler book series. And I like a lot about Clive Cussler. But, for the hell of it, I dug up an old audio book of Rogue Warrior to listen to, it's even read by one of the authors (this one having two, so it should be doubly-good, right?).
Well, I won't find out tonight, but tomorrow evening, after a hard day's work, I intend to pop it into my long-neglected tape player and comment as it goes. It may be worthless drivel I write, or (and I doubt this...) comic gold, or (most likely) just a series of plot points utterly spoiling the book for readers.
Well, keep an eye out tomorrow for Richard Marcinko and John Weisman's Rogue Warrior: Designation Gold.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Fukuzawa Yukichi by Helen Hopper Part 2
I can't believe it, page 12 and I'm already bored with this book. Let's get through this as quick as possible, then.
Holy crap! All I get is MORE background.
Osaka... no, that isn't about Fukuzawa. ... Tokugawa... again, not about him... *sigh* still looking...
Ah, back at the bottom of page 14 we come back to Fukuzawa, for a few sentences. Just long enough to introduce the new background subject: The F*#(@ng DUTCH!
So, we go over how the Dutch are more bff with Tokugawa Japan than other countries are, once again forgetting who this biography is about. Naturally, we won't be coming back to the point for a while. We get back to the hard work of... Yukuchi? When did you start calling him by his other name!? Ay Carumba! Oy Vei! Ai Ya! [Other Shouts of Exasperation]!
It isn't hard enough when I can't tell cities from people, you're going to switch the name you use for the main figure on me? This is going to be a long 150 pages, isn't it?
So let's skip ahead, a bit, and just jump into chapter 2.
THE LURE OF THE WEST.
Oh dear god, what is with these titles!? Well, let's keep reading...
Well, now Fukuzawa is being called by his full name. So, after pages of background to lead up to Fukuzawa's life, we cover less than ten pages for him to go from a first time student in a Dutch Learning school, and now he's TEACHING one!?
The pacing in this book is rediculous. Oh, and now he's in Edo (modern day, Tokyo), for those keeping track.
Okay, no problem, let's just turn the page and find out more about his life in edo and... what the hell? now we're back in time to the year of his birth? why? what possible... oh, I see. Now the author has brought us back, AGAIN, for more background.
You know what, I think that's enough. Let me just sumarize the rest of this for you, reader.
Fukuzawa makes a living being a teacher and a total prick to anyone in power in Japan, pretty much flipping off the man until he becomes the man, then living a life of ease. blah blah blah. In fact, the last chapter of this book, almost 10% of the pages in it, is devoted to his descendents.
In total, more than fifty percent of the book was background for the subject matter. It read like a history book, and from the little I let you in on, you can tell it read like an ill-paced and disorderly one.
You missed a lot of it. EVERY CHAPTER jumped to a different time, often to ancestors or descendents of Fukuzawa, with little or no information for the first few pages as to who is being discussed or what is going on.
Take my advice, if you're a history buff looking to learn about a famed figure in Japan, don't pick up this book, leave that for the students. I suggest just going on Wikipedia and searching him, instead.
Holy crap! All I get is MORE background.
Osaka... no, that isn't about Fukuzawa. ... Tokugawa... again, not about him... *sigh* still looking...
Ah, back at the bottom of page 14 we come back to Fukuzawa, for a few sentences. Just long enough to introduce the new background subject: The F*#(@ng DUTCH!
So, we go over how the Dutch are more bff with Tokugawa Japan than other countries are, once again forgetting who this biography is about. Naturally, we won't be coming back to the point for a while. We get back to the hard work of... Yukuchi? When did you start calling him by his other name!? Ay Carumba! Oy Vei! Ai Ya! [Other Shouts of Exasperation]!
It isn't hard enough when I can't tell cities from people, you're going to switch the name you use for the main figure on me? This is going to be a long 150 pages, isn't it?
So let's skip ahead, a bit, and just jump into chapter 2.
THE LURE OF THE WEST.
Oh dear god, what is with these titles!? Well, let's keep reading...
Well, now Fukuzawa is being called by his full name. So, after pages of background to lead up to Fukuzawa's life, we cover less than ten pages for him to go from a first time student in a Dutch Learning school, and now he's TEACHING one!?
The pacing in this book is rediculous. Oh, and now he's in Edo (modern day, Tokyo), for those keeping track.
Okay, no problem, let's just turn the page and find out more about his life in edo and... what the hell? now we're back in time to the year of his birth? why? what possible... oh, I see. Now the author has brought us back, AGAIN, for more background.
You know what, I think that's enough. Let me just sumarize the rest of this for you, reader.
Fukuzawa makes a living being a teacher and a total prick to anyone in power in Japan, pretty much flipping off the man until he becomes the man, then living a life of ease. blah blah blah. In fact, the last chapter of this book, almost 10% of the pages in it, is devoted to his descendents.
In total, more than fifty percent of the book was background for the subject matter. It read like a history book, and from the little I let you in on, you can tell it read like an ill-paced and disorderly one.
You missed a lot of it. EVERY CHAPTER jumped to a different time, often to ancestors or descendents of Fukuzawa, with little or no information for the first few pages as to who is being discussed or what is going on.
Take my advice, if you're a history buff looking to learn about a famed figure in Japan, don't pick up this book, leave that for the students. I suggest just going on Wikipedia and searching him, instead.
Friday, June 5, 2009
THE COMING LINEUP
So... Yeah.
I will be moving in around a month, but before then, I plan to start in on a few books. So let me list off some of the ones I'm going to start with:
Fukuzawa Yukichi (sorry, but I should have at least one biography)
Angels and Demons (YOU might not have been depressed by this one, but I was, so I'll share my pain)
Star Wars: Millennium Falcon
Monster by Frank Perettie
and who knows what else. So stay tuned, and enjoy.
I will be moving in around a month, but before then, I plan to start in on a few books. So let me list off some of the ones I'm going to start with:
Fukuzawa Yukichi (sorry, but I should have at least one biography)
Angels and Demons (YOU might not have been depressed by this one, but I was, so I'll share my pain)
Star Wars: Millennium Falcon
Monster by Frank Perettie
and who knows what else. So stay tuned, and enjoy.
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